APRIL 2ND 2011

I was about 8yrs old. It was the summer of 1992. Thats my first retrievable memory of my involvement in a world cup cricket match. It was the Benson and Hedges Cup down under. I feigned an abdomen ache. My dad baby sat me. We had a ball!India lost to Australia. Our tail failed to wag in that match and the lean figures of Javagal Srinath and Venkatapathy Raju making a mockery of a chasable last over and the contrasting huge figure of David Boon with his thick moustache jumping on the pitch are vivid in my head. World Cup cricket had hit my body system - whether it was because of the kick i got out of successfully feigning illness or watching television with my dad or if it was that thick moustache(!) i dont know. But i got the taste of the KICK!
I was not born when Kapils Devils won in 1983 at Lords. So post 92, i've been keenly and passionately following the Men in Blue(varying shades and personnel) and waiting for nearly two decades like many of my generation.
For the record, April 2nd 2011 was a Saturday. India was in a frenzy after defeating Pakistan in Mohali. I could not sleep properly the previous night. The roads of Delhi were surprisingly deserted and it was like an unsaid understanding that the whole country will be heading in one direction that afternoon.
I watched the first half of the match in Cafe Morrison. Noisy, glitzy and we were screaming our lungs out. Jimmy Morrison (after whom the place is named) would have loved to be there that afternoon. I have never ever seen an Indian team field the way they did that afternoon at Wankhede. India played almost the pefect game. Almost. Mahela Jayawardene spoilt the party for us - his wife waving and cheering with her cool shades on is one more of those vivid moments.
India began the chase and started off terribly. Sachin, the God, at home with history beckoning on him got out cheaply. We left the Doors of Morrison. I could palpate the sulk of a country!
The rest of the match was in a much more sedate environment in the hostel room. I had to bear the mourning of my friend who babbled that we may not see the Cup in our lifetime.. India are chokers and all that.
MSD walked in with some 167 odd runs more required and played a blinder. Gautham Gambhir played a great innings too and got out just short of a century. India won.
Pinch you goddamn very hard!!..... INDIA WON THE WORLD CUP!..
My friend who sulked all along was dumbstruck.. like many others.
We went to India Gate at midnight.. It took us three hours to reach a 4km distance. I understood in one crystal clear blow how sport(cricket in particular in India) can unite a country irrespective of caste, race and creed. Flags waving, horns honking, loud patriotic music, folks on their car tops - topless! and what not. "Ab Party baaki he" was the chorus.
For long, Indians were considered as pushovers - lacking that killer instinct and aggressiveness to seize the big stage. The Cup was a strong message - to the world and an unmatched boost to the self belief of every indian - in every walk of life - right from the chai walas to the dabbawalas and the CEO's of MNC's that WE CAN DO IT!
Thanks to MSD's Men in Blue! - We are the Champions!

QOTD

Man's reach is beyond his grasp; its a lie. Man's grasp is beyond his nerve! - Christopher Priest

amarkalam / razzmatazz

this is the lyrics of a tamil song from a movie called amarkalam. 

its beautiful.

so here goes.

Satham illatha thanimai kattaen,(I asked for a refuge isolated from the world),
Yootham illatha oolagam kattaen,(I asked for a world without wars),
Rathathil endrendrum vaegam kattaen,(I asked for passion in my blood),
Ragasiyam illam oollam kattaen,(I asked for a soul without secrets),
Uyirai killatha ooravai kattaen,(I asked for a relationship that doesn't pinch/demand your life),
Ottrai kaneer thuliyai kattaen,(I asked for a single tear drop by itself),
Valigal seyatha vaarthai kattaen,(I asked for words that don't inflict pain),
Vyathukku sariyaana vaalkai kattaen,(I asked for a life/behavior appropriate to my age),
Idigal illatha maegam kattaen,(I asked for a sky without any thunder),
Ilamai kedatha mogam kattaen,(I asked for an obsession that doesn't wreck my youth),
Paranthu paranthu naesam kattaen,(With all my heart I asked for care),
Paasaan illatha paasam kattaen,(I asked for a love without hesitation),
Pullin nuniyil paniyai kattaen,(I asked to lie atop a blade of grass),
Poovin madiyil padukka kattaen,(I asked to lie in the lap of a flower),
Thaanae urangum viliyai kattaen,(I asked for eyelids that shut and sleep easily),
Thalayai kothum viralai kattaen,(I asked for fingers to caress my hair),
Nilavin nanaiyum tholai kattaen,(I asked for shoulders drenched in the moonlight),
Neela kuyilin paadal kattaen,(I asked for the song of a blue cuckoo),
Nadantha poga nathikkarai kattaen,(To walk, I asked for a riverside),

Kidanthu urula pulveli kattaen,(To roll in, I asked for grass,),

Othu padukka nilavai kattaen,(To sleep with, I asked for the moon),

Etti parikka vinmeen kattaen,(To stretch and pluck, I asked for the stars),

Thookkam marantha thookkam kattaen,(I asked for a sleep that had forgotten to sleep!),
Thookkam marakkum kanavai kattaen,(I asked for a dream which makes me forget the sleep),
Boomikellam oru pagal kattaen,(I asked for one daytime for the entire world),
Poovukkellam aayul kattaen,(I asked for a long life for every flower),
Manitharkellam oru manam kattaen,(I asked for all man to have one heart),
Paravikellam thai moli kattaen,(I asked for a mother tongue for all the birds),
Oolagukkellam samamalai kattaen,(I asked for an equal rain for all of earth),
Oorukellam oru nathi kattaen,(I asked for one river for the entire country),
Vaanam olikka nilavai kattaen,(I asked for a moon to brighten the sky)
Vaalum bothe sorgam kattaen,(Even while living, I asked for heaven),
Ennam ellam uyara kattaen,(I asked for all my intentions to become loftier), 

Eriyum theeyaa kavithai kattaen,(I asked for a fiery poem inside of me),

Kaneer kadantha gnanam kattaen,(I asked for a realisation/truth that surpasses all tears),
Kaamam kadantha yogam kattaen,(I asked for an enlightenment that surpasses all desires),
Sutrum katrin sugandhiram kattaen,(I asked for the freedom of the wind),
Sittu kuruviyin siragai kattaen,(I asked for the canary's wings),
Uchan thalaiyil malayai kattaen,(I asked for rain at the vertex my head),
Ullankalil nathiyai kattaen,(I asked for a river under my foot),
Pani konda paadal payila kattaen,(I asked for a song inside my pocket),
Paravaikku irukkum vaanam kattaen,(I asked for the sky that belongs to the birds),
Nandri kedatha naatpai kattaen,(I asked for a friendship that doesn't destroy gratitude),
Nadunga vidatha selvam kattaen,( asked for a wealth that doesn't make me shiver/ tremble),
Malaril oru naal vasika kattaen,(I asked to live for a day in a flower),
Malaiyil sangeetham rusikka kattaen,(I asked to enjoy the music in the rain),
Nilavil nathiyil kulikka kattaen,(I asked to bathein a  moon lit river),
Ninaivil santhana manakka kattaen,(I asked for the fragrance of the sandalwood in my memory),
Vilunthal nilavupol vilave kattaen,(If i fell, i asked to fall like a moon),
Aluthaal malaipol alave kattaen,(If i cried, i asked to cry like the rain),
Yekantham yennodu vaala kattaen,(I asked for solitude to live with me),
Appothum sirikkindra oothadugal kattaen,(I asked for lips that always smile),
Panithulli pole oru sooriyan kattaen,(I asked for a sun like a dewdrop),
Sooriyan pole oru panithulli kattaen,(I asked for a dewdrop like the sun),
Raja rajanin vaalai kattaen,(I asked for the sword/valor of Raja Rajan(cholan)/great king ) ,
Valuvan eluthiya kollai kattaen,(I asked for the scroll/poetry of valluvar(thiruvalluvar)/great poet ),
Bharathiyarin sollai kattaen,(I asked for the words/morals of bharathiyar)
Parthipan kodutha villai kattaen,( I asked for the bow/ bravery given by parthiban(of ponniyan selavan fame) )
Maya kannan kulalai kattaen, ( I asked for the flute of the mesmerising Lord krishna)
Madurai Meenakshi kiliyai kattaen, (I asked for the parrot of Madurai Meenakshi)
Sontha ulaippal sotrai kattaen,(I asked for my bread to be from my own earning),
Thottukolla paasam kattaen,( I asked for affection for as my sidedish)
Malaiyai ponda thanimai kattaen,( I asked for the independence of the rain),
Pullai pondra panivai kattaen,(I asked for humility like the grass),
Puyalai pondra thunavai kattaen,( I asked for the boldness of the storm),
Idiyai thaangum tholgal kattaen,(I asked for shoulders that can withstand thunder),
Ilivai thaangam idhayam kattaen,(I asked for a heart that can bear twists),
Throgam thangum valimai kattaen,(I asked for a resilience that can bear betrayal),
Tholanthuvidatha porumai kattaen,(I asked for patience that never gets lost),
Sonnathu kaetkam ullam kattaen,(I asked for a mind/heart that obeys my command),
Sonnal saagum vaegam kattaen,(I asked for a anger that dies when it's told),
Kayavarai ariyum kangal kattaen,(I asked for eyes that can identify moles/schemers),
Kaalam kadakkum kaalgal kattaen,(I asked for legs that can walk through the times),
Chinna chinna tholvigal kattaen,( I asked for small defeats),
Seekiram aarum kaayam kattaen, ( I asked for wounds that heal fast),
Moodiyillatha moogangal kattaen, ( I asked for faces without veils/masks),
Poliyillatha punnagai kattaen,(I asked for smiles without deceit/ingenuinenty),
Thavalum vayathil thay paal kattaen,( I asked for my mother's milk when i crawled),
Thaavum vayathil bommaigal kattaen, ( I asked for dolls when i jumped),
Ainthu vayathil puthagam kattaen,(I asked for books when i was five),
Aaraam virallai paena kattaen,(I asked for the pen to be my sixth finger),
Kaasae vaendaam karunai kattaen,(I asked for sympathy not money),
Thalaiyana vaendam thai madi kattaen,( I asked for a mother's lap to rest my head),
Kootu kili pole vaala kattaen,(I asked to live in the parrot family/joint family),
Kuraintha patcha anbai kattaen,( I asked for atleast minimal love' affection),
Ithanai kaettum kidaikavillai,(I asked for so many things and yet didnt get any),
Ithilae aethuvum nadakavillai,(I didnt get any..)

kudos mom

to give a big sigh of relief at the first cry,

to get a reassurance with every sight, 

to hope that the clock never ticks when that "reverent" word is first uttered,

to freeze the image of the first swagger,

to be patient as a teacher,

to wonder and believe the addition of every branch,

to be glistened by the leap, even if just,

to be totally content with the presence and 

to pray and hope that the world showers and preserves this bud.

to continue seeing the growing tree like a sapling,

hey mom.. kudos!

quote of the day (qotd)

if you dont indulge yourself, nobody will! - garfield.

cacophony

the last thing i remember seeing was the clock. then i think i saw the ceiling fan. i slept like a log.

i woke up in the morning. to my disbelief it was daybreak. but all i could see was darkness. it was as though there was a power cut. and it happened on a no moon day. or the sun had decided to slumber a while longer.

i woke up. blind.

the first thing i heard was my heartbeat. i had felt it race many times in the past. but i actually heard it now. it was as though i was on the threadmill for long.

then i heard my breathing. i heard it. the air going in and out of the nostrils. and the air meeting some resistance in my chest and my chest expanding. and the rub of my vest with the quilt.

and of course the fan was still running.

the volume control seemed to have been put on an unregulated maximum.. all controls!

i decided to walk to the bathroom. i heard my footsteps making a hard shallow sound on the cold floor below. i banged the suitcase on the way.. it was deafening. the door made a creaking noise. the sound of the latch was from a high note to a sudden blank space.

as i walked back to the sink, i heard the flush filling. drop by drop. i then opened the tap. it was like a thin stream falling into a small falls. i heard the coldness!

the birds in the background. a hooting dog at a distance. few hustled steps outside. 

yes, the solitary machine rumbling past.

i sat down. put the system on mute. mute all.

sounds. my mom calling me. affectionately. my dad telling me to watch out. caringly. my bro shouting for me. by my nick.

the gusty wind on the hill top. the flutter of my shirt. the sound of the breeze as it sneaked through the gap between my eyes and the spectacles. the tinkling sound of the earring of the lady behind me.

the rustle of the leaves. the sound of footsteps on a bed of dry leaves. footsteps!

the screeching brakes. and the sound of my knee banging the road. and people screaming.

many more.

i undid the mute all.

walked to the main door. removed the chain. sound of metal. note by note.

the sun had not gone into a longer slumber afterall. i felt the flashes of light. 

i opened my eyes. brightness. blinding brightness.

strangely the volume controls had gone a rung or two down automatically.

the sense of vision invariably outscreams the sense of hearing. but the very thought of the sounds i've heard brings goosebumps. in my brain!

yes. like the one right now. my mother's calling for me. 

MSD's LSD

to a question by a journalist on whether the team had arrived a day later before the napier test, mahendra singh dhoni had this to say.. "not really. when it comes to the mind it depends on what you are feeding into the mind. the mind doesn't know if its napier or not. you come and say this is napier it believes it's napier., you say it is a day, it believes it is a day. because its about how you treat your mind. if you see, it is abstract. for instance, when people say he's in form, nobody has seen form. it's a state of mind where you are confident and you think very positively and everything you think about is very achievable. it's about how you treat the mind. one day here, one day there doesn't really make a difference."